Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
