So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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