Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize