Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
