great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
