Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
