i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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