They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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