the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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