there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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