Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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