I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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