we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
