yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
