Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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