I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
