Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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