So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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