Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
