so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
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Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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