his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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