my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
