I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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