just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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