I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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