I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
