goodnight i made you a song goodbye
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
