guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
