never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
