dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
