he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
