I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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