Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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