and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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