Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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