Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
