So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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