I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
