and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
