we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize