I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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