just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
