yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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