would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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