Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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