Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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