I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
