those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
