Do vagina's smell?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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