yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
