I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize