i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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