i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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