I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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