Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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