if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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