Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
